I Need To Confess

I have a confession to make. It is on a very volatile subject so I don’t know what the appropriate medium is. Should I just say it out loud or whisper for fear of retribution? The ambiguous nature of this confession might help my cause or it may just burn me down. Whatever I do, I must get it out quick for this knowledge stays not readily within the confines of my mind. It fights. It wants to get out, to be known; the bastard.

I Google to see if there’s any way I can cure myself of this malady and I am not disappointed. Google knows, it always does, even when it says it doesn’t. So my Google search result tells about these confession pages. My heart leaps with joy. Social media forums dedicated just for confessions? What’s not to like? You can get the world off your shoulders in total anonymity, you get an audience and quite a lot of free sympathizers. It is also very much a fashion trend these days. What could possibly go wrong?

I immediately yearn to make my confession but I  don’t. Maybe I should read a few of the confessions first. Just to acclimatize myself with the kind of content on here. So I read.

guys plz tell me can love n marriage is possiblw with neighbour… means neighbour boy n girl.. plz.. tel me .. if yes thn how to go ahead… n if no.. thn wt to do plz gv suggestion. plz

 

But what is this? Must be an anomaly. I should just read another one.

i need some suggestions..i love a girl very much..but she says that she dont want any bf..just bcoz her past ditched her…

 

Where is the confession you eejits? Has the meaning of confession transmuted into meaning some sort of random emotional malarkey? Is this what priests in church have to deal with?

I read a thousand of these so called confessions and not one of them was. Alas! I am still left with a confession to make. I must get it out quick for this knowledge stays not readily within the confines of my mind. It lies not dormant within the confines of my mind.

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How To Make A Hollywood Blockbuster

I had the misfortune of watching another Hollywood movie last night after a week full of misery in which I had to combat other egregious Hollywood movies. I swore never to watch one again. I swore, cursed, kicked ass and even called names and yet I found myself slowly being seeped back into the cinema hall like a relapsing drug addict. There is something remarkably sanguine about these money loaded abominations, but I think I’ve cracked the code. And now I present to you, how to make a Hollywood blockbuster:

Ignore the script
Ignore the script, but it is important that you have one. Now some of you might consider it moot to have a script and not use it but there is a reason you need one; It helps to pacify the critics, all they need to see is credit given to a script writer in the rolling credits and voila! you’ve scored a good rating for your movie. Another reason for having a script prepared is, it adds to your expenses. This way you can easily attain the title of a big budget movie. And don’t use the script as anything but toilet paper. You might as well switch to making commercials if you’re going to follow a script. This is Hollywood, there is a code of ethics to be followed.

Hire a teenage star to play the lead
You don’t need a good actor to make a Hollywood blockbuster. Heck, you don’t even need an actor to make a bestseller. Just get one of those famous teenagers to play the lead. Someone like Justin Bieber or one of those Twilight kids should ensure easy money.

Include lots of graphics
Yes, and by lots I mean almost every scene. Even if it is a scene involving a character walking on the road, you should show it in slow motion with lots of 360 degree motion.

Make one good scene
Let it be atleast 5 minutes long. This way you can include it in an action packed trailer. People love a good trailer.

Make a good poster
One can never go wrong with a good poster. Some movies almost exclusively depend on their posters to sell the movie.

There you have it folks, 5 easy ways to make a Hollywood blockbuster. Scratch that, you can make one by just following one of these. Just make sure you credit me in the end when you get an MTV award 😛

 

Being A Libra

The Scales

October has finally a dawned and with it the realization of being a Libran. I have been a Libran since birth and frankly speaking there is no other way of being one. It is an awful load of responsibility what with the weighing scales and the need to maintain balance in nature. Things have an uncanny way of evening itself during October. I don’t know if it happens only in October or I just notice it then but well it does.

Like for 1st of October when I experienced the work of the scales at its finest.
I was walking through the park when a fresh serving of bird poo splattered just in front of me. It took me a moment to realize what had happened and once I did there was a sudden rush of relief surging through my veins. Ah! My lucky day. I had to reciprocate in some manner so I picked up a nearby rock and hurled it at the bird, I missed. The rock ricocheted off a branch and…… damn right I got reciprocated.

StonedNature has a crude way of maintaining its balance.

Anyways I cursed and left it at that. After all we Librans are known to be smart and throwing another rock would have been foolish, simply because the bird had flown away.

Upset by this incident and not wanting to go to class with a dent on my head I decided to bunk it. The WORST decision of my life. The scales again came into play when it was later announced that we would have class the next day that is, Sunday!

Lesson learnt, Never mess with the scales.

But it is not all bad, at least the daily horoscope seems to say so. Apparently being a Libran also makes one gentle, calm, smart, loving, flirtatious and sensible. I have no qualms about any of these claims. I am rather inclined to believe it.(*Cough)
And the fact you get to share a zodiac sign with the likes of Gandhi, Catherine Zeta Jones, Eminem and Snoop Dogg can only up your billing among social peers.

On a final note, watch out for the birds in the morning. You don’t want to get caught square because once you do there is no revenge(read stone+throwing+revenge). The scales will be enforcing their law all month long.
Happy October folks!

Winner!

Not many feelings can match the feeling that you get when you’ve won something(preferably the lottery) or are given something(for free obviously) and so today I have been bestowed just that. No, I didn’t win a lottery. I won a Blogging Award! Don’t understand? Let me dramatize it for you a little bit.

Earlier tonight at the Academy Awards for Blogging
Announcer: The next category is The Versatile Blogger Award. And may I call upon Harry aka The Dribbling Pensioner to announce the winner.
Harry: And the winner is…… Sami for The Embarrassment!

 

The crowd gets ecstatic. Congratulatory hugs, handshakes and kisses are exchanged all around.

My Acceptance Speech,
tears welling up, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Mother who has never read my blog and thinks A Blog is some kind on an online cult and to Father who despite his unwillingness to fathom a visit to my crazy ramblings does show up to read the comments on my posts. Also a big thank you to Harry for considering me worthy of this. And last but not the least my readers, who show up to read my thoughts and beliefs on a daily/weekly basis. I also mean it for you friends who read but never subscribe because you think it is too embarrassing.

Ah! now as a rule I am supposed to say 7 random things about myself so that people can keep bestowing such honors upon me in the future.

  • I once dissed myself in a local rap battle so I could win.
  • I would do absolutely anything to watch The Arsenal live at the Emirates.
  • I have never lost in a debate.
  • I don’t mind getting abused as long as it is witty and creative.
  • My secret fantasy is becoming a good chef.
  • I think Batman is better than Superman because Bruce Wayne is rich, Clarke Kent isn’t.
  • I was a fat kid.

That is my 7. Now I am also expected to honor other fellow bloggers with this award. So for the 15 I think who are worthy of it,
Finding42
Evolution Of Insanity
Idiot Photographer
MJCache
Your Pal Jason
Maxim’s Madness
Healing Mutti
Dark Jade
I Want Ice Water
Insanity Aquarium
Laaventura
Unga Bunga Girl
Kymlee: Life Story
Willingness To Grow

I don’t care if you’ve gotten it before, if you don’t want it just upload shitty posts.

Okay, now if you want to accept yours, all you have to do is:

1.Post a link to the person who gave you the award thanking them for the award.
2.Tell your readers seven random things about yourself.
3.Award up to 15 newly discovered blogs.
4.Send them a note letting them know you nominated them.

Rhapsody disaster

Its a brand new month, the time to kick old trends/habits and get new ones.
This past month has been particularly weird for me as a new wave took over me. I felt more and more influenced by hip hop and the hip hop lifestyle and started acting all trashy. At first it was just the music but slowly yet steadily I transitioned towards being a ‘badass’ gangsta. All my friends became ‘homies’ and the dress code to every party became an old hoodie but that wasn’t enough, I wanted to do more. One of my friend’s keenly pointed out that all rappers seemed to have a rebellious nature and always seemed to break the rules, and so I did too. I vandalized my own room and broke the one rule my parents never expected me to break. I even started talking like them, Yesterday I caught my self saying, “Wow that movies was dope!!“.

My beloved hoodie 🙂

I even got down to rapping, sadly no one would hustle with me but before I quit I wrote one for you guys, hope y’all (pronounced yall) enjoy it 🙂

 Yo! turn the beat up a lil bit.
Yo! Yo! Scoobydoo ba doo
Here goes

Hope y’all reading this sh*t daily
I did snuff whipped a pistol and killed Beetle Bailey
I’m hip hop in your window shop
like a gun pop when you’re on top
My actions are not justifiable
My words not reliable
the same way like my actions when I flamed my head, sh*t I’m an animal

Grateful it got over aren’t you?! Its a new month and here’s to another new attitude!
Yours rapping-ly

Note: No drugs were taken, no persons shot and Gang formed during my tenure as a homie 🙂