Home Alone: The Mayhem Continues


A Police car halted in the distance. A portly looking cop got out of the car and headed straight towards my door. It was late after midnight. Something was a miss. The cop didn’t seem to be in a playful mood, he hurried himself as he made his way onto my porch and 20 seconds later rang my door bell. This was going to be a long night.

*********************

Later in the morning, my sweet old neighbor(the one from the firetruck incident) was at my door step, looking gleeful as ever.

” I saw cops stop over at your place last night. Is everything alright?” she asked with mock concern.

“Bitch, I know you called them. No need to act all candylicious now.” is what I really wanted to say but..

“Yeah, they came over because someone from the neighborhood had trouble sleeping with all the loud music I was playing.” was all I managed.

“That sounds horrible.” she said, still not being able to fake a concerning look. “Did they like fine you or something? You should be happy you didn’t get arrested. I have heard much worse happen to people blasting of their speakers in the dead of the night.”

“Fine? Nah! They just told me to turn off the music, maybe get an early night. They were very understanding and nice.” I said, exaggerating on the ‘nice’ part.

“WHAT??! NO FINE?!”

Angry

This incident had me all merry so I planned on a party. Called up a few of my friends and party we did.

Party

What happened afterwards is something I’m still regretting and if you’re reading this my advice to you is, NEVER party with people who aren’t designed to act sane for more than 24 hours. As night wore on, people got bored and this gave way to a food fight which has now left a mark on the walls of my house, probably forever. Mother is so not going to be pleased.

So the next few days, passed with me trying to clean my walls and the carpets with no success so far. Somehow the stains seem to get darker when I mop them. Then I also adopted a stray dog but somehow it managed to break itself free from its shackles and escaped. Or maybe I just forgot to tie it to its leash, whatever it was I am deeply grieved that it betrayed me after all the Cheetos I shared with it.

I also happened to accidentally kicked a football into my Neighbor 2’s drainage. His drainage’s been blocked for a few days now and his place stinks to high heaven and he still has no clue who did it. I feel sad for him, but feeling sad is better than owning up and cleaning his gutter.

Okay I guess that’s about it for this week. Gotta clean more walls.

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32 thoughts on “Home Alone: The Mayhem Continues

  1. I once found a cat in my kitchen and it ended up living underneath the table for a few days because I wasn’t sure what to do with it. True story bro!
    And as for the stains… try battery acid. Always battery acid. Even if it doesn’t get rid of them, at least it will leave a different kind of stain, and that’s all you can ask for, really.

    • A cat? How did you put up with it. I hate egoist animals, that’s why I prefer dogs. Sadly this one turned out to have a catty attitude. 😦

      Battery acid? I think I prefer the scent of cake on my walls rather πŸ˜›

  2. Apparently white wine gets stains out… or is that just red wine stains? I dunno, there is nothing better than when a neighbour does something to try and piss you off, you tell them it doesn’t really affect you at all, which makes them 10 times more angry than you ever were to begin with.

  3. Just wait until mummy gets you, and you will be confined to your room for a while.
    Battery acid, you must be joking, white wine removes red wine stains.
    WD40, spray lightly, rub the mark and then rub with luke warm water.

  4. You got it right when you said mayhem. Don’t get white wine for the stains, or you’ll get drunk and have more trouble. Put fake blood on the stains, put you’re arm in a sling, and tell you’re parents you fell, cut yourself and hurt your arm. If they ask to see the cut, tell them its in an embarrassing place. Good luck when they get home.

    • I could put fake blood if the stains were on one place but I couldn’t possibly cover the entire living room with blood without also telling them a tale of how I got abducted and then escaped and then got slashed by a psycho killer several times before I killed him.
      I will need all the luck when they get back.

  5. Wow, what a party! I can’t remember having food on the wall but I know it takes a while to clean them . Worst scenario, repaint the walls. I enjoyed the honesty and humor in your post. Merry Christmas and a fun New Year for you and your family!!!

  6. Every TV show has an episode like this. You’ll be caught when Mother sees a misplaced pillow.

    My parents told me one year for my birthday I could have a food fight. Then I remembered how much I love food. So we went to McDonalds instead. I was content.

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