Somewhere in the middle of last week I was hit with the realization of my approaching exams. Bludgeoned being the more appropriate word. This lead me into a frenzy of digging into text books, scooping through old notes and guides, meditating and praying, occasionally. Usually I’m never the one to panic, usually but exams bring to the fore a different side of me. My preparations were quite smooth till the day just before the wretched paper. My mind started playing games with me, bullying me with me silly tricks. That is when the fears started creeping in. What if I get brain damaged due to the intensity of the questions? I somehow pulled through always assuring myself this one was to be just as the past ones had been, Successful.
Finally the cursed day was upon me. My mind was a mess, I was on the verge of a breakdown. I surfed through Google, again looking for answers to my life.
Search results: 13,300,000
Required results: 0
I quickly went through a stash of some old Tabloids from Mother’s collection looking for things not to do while having a nervous breakdown or any breakdown. Soon enough I found a few articles about Britney Spears and Charlie Sheen. Finally, what I had been searching for. Okay, according to these articles I am supposed to stay away from a trimmer, drugs, guns and a webcam. Done, After all I would never be able to deal with social stigma of shaving my head in the public or making a striptease video of myself. Now to deal with the exam.
And so I headed to the exam hall, quietly dreading the task at hand.
As the sheets were distributed I said a silent prayer and began filling the details in the paper. First up was Name, Eeeeasy! My Grandma could answer that. I quickly jotted it down and also added a little smiley on the side. Next up was Roll No. That is so…. um…HOLY HELL!! WHAT THE HELL IS MY ROLL NUMBER?? I frantically looked at the girl sitting beside me for help. She made an irritated gesture towards the table and then there I saw my roll number scrawled across my table with red chalk powder.
Another incident to add to my list of incidents I wish hadn’t happened. I also got a warning from the invigilator for this incident. Talk about adding insult to injury.
The rest of the paper was a walk in the park, apart from a few questions which had me muttering vulgarities under my breath.
These happening weren’t without a reason, so here are a few things I learnt from all this.
- Never study all of the portion. It messes with your brain and makes you hallucinate.
- Never ask your roll number to anyone, especially when it is written on your table.
- Never cut back on sleep to prepare overnight, it’ll just cause you to sleep during the exam(happened to me)
- Never get stressed out. In the end it is never worth it especially if you’re taped doing crazy stuff, featuring on Youtube in such a state can never be good.
And always keep in mind, Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer.
Till tomorrow, yours embarrassingly