The Arranged Marriage Theory


The usual scenario when I come back from college in the evening is me jumping in, whistling a merry tune and then running into the kitchen scavenging for food. Today’s was slightly different, it involved me entering my house to see hundreds of strangers, like rodents scurrying about everywhere. And as you can read from this post about guests, I intensely dislike them. It was a miracle I didn’t explode and I might offer a bit of prayer for that later, but now back to the topic – The crowd had gathered at my place to arrange an ‘arranged’ marriage for a distant cousin and it seemed the entire tribe had decided upon us to pass their judgement and have some input in the decision making. The dim and commotion quieted down as the time passed and the hour for the bride-groom to be drew closer. It was nervousness or they just got tired from creating such a racket, I could not tell and frankly I didn’t care. The families offered a small prayer when they saw the groom to be and his family arrive at the gate. They prayed for the the meeting to go well.

Arranged marriage

All these events got me thinking, ‘Why do people commit themselves to arranged marriages?’ Though I know the success rate of these arranged marriages is more than that of love marriages, but marrying a complete stranger? I find it a bit strange that people are willing to take a leap of faith and marry someone they haven’t known for long. What perks could it have? Having said that, I still think arranged marriage has a bit of thrill to it, what with committing yourself to someone you don’t really know. It could perhaps be the reason of its longevity. After all don’t we all want a bit of adventure and thrill in our life. Maybe arranged marriage provides these moments to people. Maybe it does not but I can’t really say for sure, I haven’t been married before but what do you think?

Yours best man at the wedding

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19 thoughts on “The Arranged Marriage Theory

  1. Well, I am planning (in its own due time, which isn’t for a few years from now) to go for arranged marriage. So I’ll tell you my thought process –
    a. My parents won’t leave me alone single and they wouldn’t really like anybody I pick.
    b. Mostly, I don’t like the ones I pick after some time anyways (real bad taste I have!)
    c. Home loans are too expensive to live alone anyways
    d. Since they look into it all, I will be saved of all the background search hassle
    e. These days, its a lot more of prior multiple dating rather than marrying a stranger.
    So who can complain!

  2. I don’t arranged marriages from birth, but in Japan if you don’t ever think you can find a husband or wife on your own, you can go to a company and they can help you find a spouse! It’s a big thing to get married in Japan, and increasingly harder when you get older. Sometimes arranged is the only way to go.

  3. I would prefer an arranged marraige. After all, in a love marraige, you end up with a completely different person anyway. No one is ever the same when you start living with them. My sister is having an arranged marraige, and I trust my family completely to have an arranged marraige. and I agree with sayali on a,b,c,d and e

  4. Arranged marriage seems a lot like those marriages that occur only a few weeks of meeting someone. I mean, in the sense that you hardly know this person you’re marrying. That seems to happen a lot in the states. I have only lived here, so I do not know about anywhere else.
    I am not sure I could do an arranged. My dating life was horrid, I dated some real assholes. Lot’s of cheating on their part going around. Even after all that heartache, I dont think I could have ever gone with arranged.

    • Yup, it is a bit bizarre but it seems to work a lot. I personally am not a supporter of this idea but it comes down to personal choice in the end I believe.

      • I hope this doesn’t come across as rude, but is it that arranged marriages really work out better or that divorce is just seen as less of an option than in the “love” marriages?

    • Well arranged marriages work well, when couple have respect and trust in elders decision. Love is blind, when on high you ignores many things, when tide go down the picture beneath is not always pretty. Arranged marriages provide relative security from that as elders take well informed judgement based on their experience. Secondly as both FAMILIES are involved, you are kept in tab and acceptance in KEY word.

  5. Very much agree to Sayali’s points!! Be it arranged or love, if one can’t accept n face challenges in married life its one n the same, i believe! One more thing that works in the more civilised part of India is the prior dating and there are choices given by parents ;D
    But it can’t be totally relied on the parental decision either, each 1 needs to express their individuality!

  6. Nice post Sami! Arranged Marriages sound a lot better when compared to love marriages. Guess I should start thinking.
    Nice to read ur writing. Do drop in at my world n let me know what u think of it.

  7. I think there may be a lot to be said for arranged marriages, PROVIDED they are genuinely arranged with the interests of the two people in mind at all times and notto merely seal a commerical or political arrangement between families.

    How many times have love relationships broken up and only then do family and friends tell us “we never thought you were suited anyway”?

    • Yes, it should be mutually consented marriage else it serves no purpose at all.

      It happens more often than not, but how do we tell someone that it is not gonna work out with their partner whom their dying to be with?

  8. Love it! Match Maker, Match Maker, Make Me A Match, you know there are enough lonely people, I wonder if an arranged marriage for lonely 40 year old’s who never married, maybe a business idea here in the states!

  9. I couldn’t do an arranged marriage because I can’t imagine being forced to spend me life with someone that my parents got to pick on their own. Despite the fact that I don’t think the two of them would ever agree on one person for me, I just don’t have that much trust I guess. I wouldn’t be able to commit myself to someone that I hadn’t gotten to know. I would be completely open to a blind date arranged by my parents, had they actually agreed on someone, but I couldn’t commit. I feel like that could work really well in a large amount of people’s lives but it’s just not ideal for me! Very interesting to think about though! (:
    http://offmychestblogdotcom2.wordpress.com/

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